Time’s gift of wisdom.

It’s all around me, everywhere I look things are changing. I ask myself daily is it me or is my world changing? What seemed so simple and real in the past now I question. When i direct my eyes out into the world I see much fear and concern. People seem to be bouncing back and forth between anger and apathy. At least the anger has a realness to it. The apathy is so disheartening.

During the early years of relvelation I felt myself feel hopeless and sometimes felt as though the earth would open up and swallow me whole at times. I remember the challenges to believe in something different, to allow for my lens to shift. Each layer of unconsciousness that I have peeled away has gone slowly and without fanfare. It was a gradual awakening, a term used by many. I expect the upcoming changes to follow the same path. I hold that space of patience while the world catches up.Things have sped up, that is for certain. The perception I once had of time is very different now. so who knows, at what pace things will settle in to, but time has taught me well, it will change.

I was speaking with someone just today about the world and the economy and the hopelessness many people feel. we both realized that time had done us a great service. It served well as our alchemist. We both could remember times that seemed as bleak, or bleaker. We both could remember things seeming hopeless but eventually improving. It was the sculpted wisdom of our experience that kept each of us at peace, knowing that something more, something better, something different is just around the bend.

Summer Solstice Sagittarian Full Moon – fire of transformation.

The fires of transformation, insight and enlightenment have been working on me this full moon / solstice transition. I can tell it is having a great affect on me as my body seems to take hours to recover from sleep. I awake to a feeling of traveling far away, having processed something deep and significant although I can’t necessarily recall. My limbs feel heavy and my heart guarded for some reason. My daily life reveals to me that I have shifted into new states of mind and awarenesses. I feel lighter, more at peace and more whole. I assume the guarding of my heart is the fear that remains as I plunge deeper into my soul lessons. Fear of the light now more than the dark. Having plunged as deep as one could go into any dark abiss I have been climbing up and out of the caverns and into the light these last few years. As I get closer to love and closer to peace of mind and heart I sense there is deeply embedded fear. What could possibly be so scary about greater love and peace? My conscious mind tries to understand and  logic takes over, it feels like this is exactly what I want… Isn’t it?

I believe it to be a much deeper fear that I face. Something Lazaris taught me years ago that it is often our light that we are the most afraid of. We fear our power and our human potential. It is puzzling to me and yet I feel it to be true.

Its as if the part of me that knows how capable I am of darkness and it guards the expression of light. Perhaps fearing that the light will cast awareness into my shadows. To expose what lies hidden there. That is risky. I have spent many a year now illuminating that shadow with conscious attention and insight. One would think…there can’t be much more there. How deep is the abiss that holds the scribes of my soul?

Or, perhaps the depth of responsibility is the greater fear. What is expected of me out of greater love? What will life ask of me if I choose to acknowledge my light and live from its truths?

Or perhaps it is the fear of loss that grips my heart and places guards around. Fear of losing the objects of my love but even more…love itself. What if I choose to let love in, to let light in and I lose it? That feels tragic and sad and scary. It touches memories in my body that ache with grief. Some of those memories I can recall and many it feels are buried deep within my dna.

It quite possibly is all of the above. Perhaps a combination, synergy of fears that keep me from opening more…

It now leaves me to the task of what to do? My teachers would say…love more, risk, let yourself be loved….they would and do unanimously guide me towards the light regardless of my fear. Listening, I leap into the unknown and step through the fear, allowing the fires of the moon and the sweltering summer solstice to bring the transformations and transmutations I desire.

Menopause and other women’s transitions.

Emotions play a huge role in the way we experience the life transition of menoupause. Dr. Northrup talks about the pain body (Eckert Tolle’s- Power of Now)and how it relates to the “crisis” that co-insides with women’s transitions. It’s an awesome explanation of why we can feel so lost and in pain. “It is not you…”are the words she echos from Tolle’s work. She reminds us of practicing the discipline of pleasure and listenting to the messages your body is saying. There is an awesome section on women’s transitions through the cycles of the moon. Very insightful. It’s great information regardless of where you are in your piece of the journey.

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..befreinding and mindfullly surrendering to our most dreaded emotions we discover the heart’s native intelligence…”
marianne greenspan.

excerts of wisdom from dr. northrup

…”when these feelings come up…don’t resist them, they have important messages for you.”

“…it’s not an event it’s a process…”

“….it’s one of the ways our brain wires in wisdom.”

…the key to a sustainable and healthy lifestyle is learning caregiving where you include yourself…

Taking care of ourselves is a journey. We have been trained well in self sacrifice and have it so entrenched in our make up that it is collective unconscious thought. Training ourselves to think differently is the destiny of the current age of women going through menopause. We are not our mothers and face a whole different world view which includes us living as much as 30 years longer than they did. The key to healthy transitions is emotional freedom, Dr. Northrup gives humourous examples of self sacrifice and this journey of self care that we all seem to struggle with as women.

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“We have to be willing to let go of the life we have planned in order to have the life that is waiting for us” Jospeh Campbell.

Dr. Northrup:

….”what do your feet want to do?”

…”give up perfect…reframe selfish”

…get suppport for self care…get a bunch of girl friends together, women are the best midwives in the world…”

“think with your heart…take a moment and think of something you love….” she suggest that we learn to love, be open and giving, give up the dramas of our stories. She talks about changing hormones through feeling your positive feelings and allowing yourself to be free from the past.

“…the body was designed to stay in hormonal balance for a lifetime.” dr. christiane northrup

“…recharge your battery from source energy.” dr. crhistiane northrup

I don’t know about you but for me being 50 gives me a chance to really love. Now that my adolcent self doesn’t run my relationships I get the beautiful opportunity to love and be loved like never before. I have learned how to face my issues about men and experience freedom from the old angers held there, giving me an opportunity to relate to the man in my life with less pain and judgment and more gratitude and compassion. In this part of the video Dr. Northrup discusses frankly what helps us stay juicy and vibrant. She also shares about how our thoughts mold and shape our realities down to a hormonal level….some awesome and fun affirmations that just feel good.

i.e. “I breathe in divine love, divine sexuality, and divine conscious with every breath and my body, mind, spiri,t emotions, relationships and affairs are transformed, rejuvinated and enlightened…

“…be delicious about it….”

If we had only known…souma vergon

Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin’ the tree
Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin’ the tree

Waiting your time, dreaming of a better life
Waiting your time, you’re more than just a wife
You don’t want to do what your mother has done
She has done
This is your life, this new life has begun
It’s your day – a woman’s day
It’s your day – a woman’s day

Turning the tide, you are on the incoming wave
Turning the tide, you know you are nobody’s slave
Brothers and sisters
Who can hear all the truth in what you say
They can support you when you’re on your way
It’s your day – a woman’s day
It’s your day – a woman’s day

Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin’ the tree
Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin’ the tree
Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin’ the tree

There’s nothing to gain when there’s nothing to be lost
There’s nothing to gain if you stay behind and count the cost
Make the decision that you can be who you can be
You can be
Tasting the fruit come to the Liberty Tree
It’s your day – a woman’s day
It’s your day – a woman’s day

Changing your ways, changing those surrounding you
Changing your ways, more than any man can do
Open your heart, show him the anger and pain, so you heal
Maybe he’s looking for his womanly side, let him feel

You had to be so strong
And you do nothing wrong
Nothing wrong at all
We’re gonna to break it down
We have to shake it down
Shake it all around

Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin’ the tree
Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin’ the tree
Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin’ the tree