Fueling your life from your soul.
Posted by charlottescott on July 17, 2008
The second half of life comes with many changes. It’s important to move with those changes and through those changes to discover what you are really made of and why you are here. It is something I think about often and seek to find ways to be more in touch with what my soul yearns for.. I ask in meditation for the messages to be clear and I try to keep my eyes and ears alert to the whispers in my life.
When I was younger I knew there was a deep longing inside of me to express something. I didn’t know what and I really didn’t know how. I chose many avenues trying to find “it”, some were actually damaging to myself and to others. It seems during my younger years my soul could only find me through my pain. Painful relationships and difficult love issues continued to follow me around. I knew I wanted something more, something deep and soulful and I knew it was in me….somewhere… I also tried the opposite approach. I tried to search where I’d been taught, looking for god where I’d been told to find “him.” I searched for a place where I could feel the touch of light and somehow resolve this deep ache. I attempted several times to sit in churches and feel a connection to something more than me. I did. But I also walked away with some other things. Shame, despair, hopelessness…it seemed that this god that they spoke of wouldn’t approve of me or my life and certainly not my choices. The pain of life and the losses I had experienced were somehow my lot for something. Some evil wrong doing that I had done and was now being punished for.
I can tell you. My soul never ceased to show up for me in my pain. It was a knowing prescence that came to comfort me when things were bleak and dark. I danced around in that darkness and gave alot of power to the pain. Perhaps as a way to touch my soul the only way I knew how. As life would have it I did grow through the pain. I took those moments of soul growth and made the effort to find a better way.
The title of this post comes from a comment made by Dr. Christiana Northrup. She suggests that at this time of life it’s important to put to rest the past and to embrace a new Self. To prioritize what is really important. To, as she put it…fuel your life from your soul and less from the expectations of those around you.
What an exceptional way to see the process of maturity and wisdom. I share my “old” way because I know I’m not alone. Many of us spend a great deal of our life learning through pain. Through grief and suffering we make attempts to get to know this mysterious part of our being. I know that path well.
Several years ago I began to listen more carefully to that still quiet voice. At first I couldn’t hear it. There was nothing in there but static and some crazy voices telling me all the things i should be doing or chastising the things I hadn’t done. But eventually through persistence I separated the yama-yama of my lifetime psychosis from something that was much more supportive and loving. I found when I listened and responded to this voice I created a lot more love in my life. Things became more clear and sometimes I actually found myself responding to life from a much more soulful place. It produced a sense of peace and purpose.
Fueling your life from your soul requires the willingness to listen for that voice. To quite the chatter of the “choir” as I like to call it. Those inner voices that we’ve placed there as a means of survival. You know, the voice that sounds like your mother appropriately chiming in to remind you how you SHOULD handle something, or that task master cracking the whip to drive and motivate, the shaming voice that is somehow suppose to help us make the right choices…the many voices that make up the ego’s perspective on life. The voice of the soul is a softer, quieter voice. It doesn’t blame, or put down or load you down with shoulda’s and coulda’s and why haven’t you….. it’s the voice that nudges you towards light and love when you let it. It will come sit with you in the darkness, but my experience has taught me… there’s so much more to learn from it when you meet it in the light.
